By: Dad

Dad — Sun, 16 Nov 2014 00:09:34 +0000

The logic behind punishing everyone is usually lost on a kid who already only cares about what he or she wants. Is the rest of the class supposed to pressure the kid into changing the behavior? I have only used it when we’re about to go out and someone’s chattering away by saying, “Listen, do you hear that? It’s the sound of you all waiting for one person to be quiet.” What has always worked better is spotlighting the desired behavior. (“I like the way Ignatzio is waiting” or “What does ready sound like? What does ready look like?”) That gets quick results. Punishing everyone for the acts of a minority makes as much sense as telling all the customers at a bank they can’t deposit or withdraw money because one of them wrote a bounced check. It’s lazy and unfair.

On the other hand, there are some times withholding recess is not only appropriate but necessary. If there is a behavior problem, it needs to be discussed teacher to student, not in front of a class on everyone else’s instructional time. What other time is there besides recess? (I live on the edge doing this in my district, in which a parent complained to the school board and they came out with such a heavy-handed ban on teachers denying recess they should put a byline next to their district name “Where the tail not only wags the dog, it OWNS the dog”.)

I also think Maddie’s teacher owes her a respectful response. She raises legitimate questions. If she doesn’t get one by conference time, that should be the first thing brought up after discussing grades. Get those done first because once you bring this up, that’s all you’ll be talking about. I know whereof I speak, having been on both sides of the conference table and having also had the teachers be close colleagues. It ain’t easy because you do have to wear several hats and but don’t take the Mommy Hat off for a second in the conference. If the teacher is also a parent, she’ll get it. If not, time to call in the principal. It’s your job to be the advocate.

By: Mom

Mom — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 23:39:58 +0000

I think it is right that you try to involve her, even though she may suffer the teacher’s negative reactions to this. Taking away everyone’s recess is unfair unless everyone was actually misbehaving.
This seems to be her go-to strategy and at parent night you should at least make your opinion of that method known No kid should have a “bad year” because of teacher relationship. If you get nothing at parent night, start up the chain. Kids can be changed to new classes if it is warranted. And remember 2nd grade–you had the strictest lower grades teacher, Mrs. Keller. But I don’t think she was this bad. The librarian is owed a visit, too, to ask specifically what Maddie did wrong to deserve no new book that week. You don’t deny kids what we try so hard to get them to like and use. IMHO

Comments on: Under New (Behavior) Management?

By: Dad

By: Mom