Wedding Planner: Do Over Edition

I am not into event planning. Ask my daughter; she is (happily) getting a birthday “outing” next month for her 8th, in lieu of an actual party. Lately Pinterest likes to remind me that people I know, who are my age, are getting married now.  In contrast, all my wedding decisions are set in 11 year-old stone. Now, on occasion, I actually do girly things. One of these is to fantasize about what I would do differently if I were planning a wedding this year. This is fun, try it! Your wedding is the big party you throw, so all your friends and family can come together and enjoy themselves.  So it better be a good, right? Hmmm…

Hubby and I got married at 22. We had a lot of help (thank you, wonderful people who helped!) and we had an awesome wedding. We are not exactly the same people today, in taste or priorities. Nor should we be. So now, to the shock and dismay of my relatives who were there or *gasp* (sorry) chipped in for our beautiful college wedding back in ’03, here’s what I’d do today, instead:

Date:

Same. Maybe a week later, because HELLO, who thought New Jersey schools would still be in session on June 21st? Stupid polar vortex.

Location:

I feel bad that everybody drove to our college campus, mid-way between where our families lived, without nicer hotels or nightlife nearby. We’d now be in Jersey, in someplace outside, that would be set up like a really nice back yard. In my fantasy there is no rain, no heat, and no mosquitoes in this lovely place in Jersey. I said it was fantasy.

Dress:

…somewhere under that giant white frosted cupcake! Actually, as wedding dresses go, this one is still pretty simplistic, and I love it for that. But if I had to wear this now, the only thing good about this dress would be that it is now way too big for me. We would be going dress-casual, people. I know that’s cliche now. Thank me later when you don’t have to go buy new formal wear. For my part, I promise not to wear jeans.  But just so you know, there are white sneakers under that giant cloud of satin up there.

Ceremony:

I like what we had. But I would ask for it to be done on-site, and have a family member or close friend officiate. Also, we’d lose the standard ‘Corinthians I’ reading.

I loved all my music and all my musicians. I wouldn’t change the surround-sound Lutkin “Lord Bless You And Keep You” benediction for anything.

Reception Stuff…

Music:

The band is pretty much the most important thing at a reception because as a guest you can sneak in decent food and drink. Confession: We had a DJ. This was the ultimate musician sin, although he was excellent. The band should be maybe 6 pieces, of course have horns and a drummer who does not suck, and have a minimum of two women who are not singers. Girl power. The players should be nobody I know, so I can make them play Ska 80’s covers and Jim Steinman songs without fear of judgement. Also some mariachi stuff would be nice, because this would be the only matchy-matchy element with…

Food: 

Food would definitely have to involve mucho Mexicano y TexMex. I would like to pay somebody to stand at a table piled with avacados and make my friends and family their favorite type of guacamole. I would like someone else to make them endless burritos of their choosing. There should be grilled steak and melted cheese on anything anybody wants. Also, boardwalk fries. And pulled-pork BBQ. And…

Ok, you know what? Let’s just say it. I would hire a half dozen food trucks. And one drink truck. Does that exist, drink trucks? If not, I thought of it first. But yes, you can come work for me and we will go travel the country like those lucky guys in the movie “Chef”, just spreading joy. 

This is not one on of my fantasy wedding food trucks. We’d go a little fancier. But I love that this exists.

 Oh, and about the Wedding Cake:

Just kidding. You can’t have nachos as wedding cake! Because I will be having nachos as wedding cake, silly! Brides don’t have to share. You can have a regular cake with a good 2 inches of butter cream icing on it. I decree that it must have some kind of crazy melted chocolate sauce to put on top.

More Reception Stuff:

No bouquet toss. No garter. (We didn’t do the garter thing, because really, what the heck is this about, other than some poor 16 year old boy having an awkward moment with the bride’s divorced older cousin?) No favors with the names and date on them, because we both know you don’t want some tchotchke with my name on it at your house. But sure, let’s do first dances. And YES, we are doing a group picture, and we will need several “crazy” shots. Copies of this will be mailed to every guest with a thank-you written on the back – BOOM I’m done my thank-you cards. No photographer, otherwise. You have a phone, if something awesome happens, take a picture and send it to me. I have some great phone pics hanging on my wall right now. (In real life, the amount we actually spent on wedding photography we did’t really love would pay for the those fantasy food trucks.)

If I were doing the wedding thing now, I’d want it as familial-feeling as possible, with lots of time to talk to everyone and know they’re having a good time. Yes, the kids are invited. I would hire a couple responsible teens to babysit and/or do camp-style crafts in a adjacent location with the kids, so their parents can kick back, if they want to. There will as much dancing as folks want, but there shall be no Cha-Cha Slide or Cupid Shuffle, because I don’t come to your social events and remind you of  your work.  Then…

I want  a giant movie screen (or a big sheet tied to a tree, and bigger than ^). There should be many big, comfy blankets and lawn chairs for all. Fire pits will be lit. S’mores would be great, if somebody would make me one with Nutella. There will then be a popcorn cart and those big movie theater candy boxes and soda (with things mixed in from the drink truck). Then we can watch our favorite movies outdoors, under the stars, and folks can still hang back at the tables or chill at the bar. (This will be attached to the drink truck, naturally.)  I will play the Bridezilla card and insist that I am allowed to talk the ENTIRE movie, because it’s MY wedding, and MST3K is a way of life, damn it.  I have several possibilities for viewing material, but I am not telling 😛  because you will laugh at the titles of my favorite movies, and I have a reputation to uphold.

I would put several board games out (Yes, that is what I said), because I like them and a wedding where you play Cards Against Humanity is pretty much the best wedding you’ve ever been to. The movie screen can also be used for epically large projections of MarioKart match-ups. Go nuts. I got next, I Mario-drive really well when I’ve had a couple. This can go all night, because we will have paid for place till at least dawn. At that point, somebody from the food trucks need to put the coffee and breakfast burritos on.

Last but not least…The Guy:

Well that’s a no-brainer. Best decision I ever made about anything, ever, was the guy I married 11 years ago. I will not post a shmarmy picture here. You’re welcome.

So there, that’s how I would wedding it up, nowadays. Maybe if we run into a big chunk of change we don’t want, we’ll do a vow renewal as an excuse to throw this party someday. A girl can dream about her wedding, right?

Here’s the best part.: Chances are, if you actually read this post the whole way through (it’s a long one huh?), then you must love me dearly, and would definitely be invited.

What would you do differently , if you could plan your wedding now? What would you keep the same? Comment!