Let me begin by admitting that this is totally not what I’m about, as a parent, and I’ll probably ditch it in like two weeks.
I stumbled upon the challkboard summer schedule thing on Pinterest (meggyrd). You know that over-achieving nutjob mom in your head who convinces you that theme parties and carefully coordinated Christmas picture outfits are a great idea? Yeah, she gets ahold of me from time to time.
Pinterest’s Summer Schedule:
Aw doesn’t that look nice? Now, allow me to translate for you:
7AM – Screen Time – They may play (quasi) educational games on the tablet. Or watch Super Mario Bros. Super Show on Netflix for the 200th time, whatever.
8AM – Breakfast, Clean Us, Rooms – Hubby and I will hopefully be awake by this point. Otherwise, they will forage, like wild animals, for Poptarts. Hubby and I will try to sit at the table with them, because we actually do value the whole morning-family-gathering thing. My stomach and I are not into breakfast, but I will be sure to drink coffee, so no one dies later. Showers and clothing will be applied to the children, probably by Hubby. I will briskly walk the puppy a few miles at this point, at least in the fantasy in my head. And then bluebirds and squirrels will help me get dressed, while the children pick up their rooms. Ha.
9AM – Play School – Hubby leaves the house at this luxuriously late hour. The “Play School” thing is where, I imagined, we’d do little science experiments, word games, or I’d go all Maria Von Trapp on them. This time will undoubtedly amount to them doing one page of whatever page they want out of some grocery store workbook and then ditching, while I check facebook on my laptop and drink more coffee. I predict this will be the first thing to get erased from the chalkboard.
10AM – Outside: Pool/Bikes – Shoot, why did I write “pool” on there? That has to involve me. At least we’re using it. I am designating “outside'” play here because later on, “GO PLAY” can mean inside too. As long as they Don’t Bother Mommy.
11AM – Read/Draw/Write – They do this anyway. What this should really say is “Don’t Bother Mommy.”
12PM – Lunch, Chores – I manage to prepare whatever single food has been deemed acceptable by the little one this week. They have a list of stuff they have to do for chores, while I clean up lunch, lay out art stuff, and figure out what the heck to do for the next slice of the schedule…
1PM – Fun w/ Mom – Crap. This involves me again. Over-achiever Mommy is going to lift ideas right off of Pinterest, or take them to a park if I don’t feel like using my brain.
2PM – GO PLAY – Please note: This activity is subject to start early and go long, without notice. And be happy the entire chalkboard doesn’t say this, because this is what summer should look like all-day, every day, to you kids. People my age remember being outside, unsupervised, for like 6+ hours a day. Now GO PLAY.
3PM – Art Time – This is just because we have a dresser full of arts and crafts stuff. Come on over, I could run a camp. “Yaaaay, let’s make some more stuff we have no place for but guilt and/or children won’t let me throw away later!”
4PM – Snack Time/GO PLAY – You may NOW ask me for mid-afternoon food. Not before. Then, GO PLAY.
5PM – Read/Draw/Write – See above. Unless you’re still playing somewhere. Then, as you were.
6PM – Screen Time – AKA “Mommy Gives Up.”
Then it’s make-dinner time. (Sometimes, some Mexican loveliness, I hope.) We don’t have dinner till Daddy gets home around 7:00. Then, it could be more pool, going somewhere for ice cream (what is the summer for, if not general slothiness and comparing various ice cream places?), or God Only Knows. That is the beauty of summer.
Now, this next part is me telling myself that this will all be fine and I will not be bored and desperate for adult interaction by the 2nd week. Can you tell I’m a little nervous about this? Just ignore the pep talk:
This is wonderful, beautiful, freeing SUMMER, the only difference is that Hubby will not be around 10 hours a day. I have had one Hell of a year, and I need a break. We will hopefully have family and friends over a lot. We will visit family out of state. There will be playdates. We will meet Daddy in the city for dinner. We will go to the beach and museums and do our Playground Tour. We will sit on the couch and do nothing, like I’ve done all weekend. It’s been beautiful.
By modern suburban standards, I guess I should have signed them up for camp, Vacation Bible School, soccer, or something. I didn’t. Oops. I think they’ll live.
But hey, at least we have a schedule. Subject to change without notice, because hey, it’s only written in chalk.