I’m writing this post on my phone, at a 5 & under children’s playplace. Don’t pity me too much. I’m the only parent hanging in the nice little seating area. I have my Dunkin. I have my shoes off. I’m not crawling through tunnels to rescue a screamer who’s too scared to go down the slide (anymore). It’s kind of nice, except for one small issue:
MY EARS ARE BLEEDING.
The ceiling speakers are loudly playing a list that alternates between Laurie Berkner, The Wiggles, and Kidz Bop. I don’t hate Laurie. I will after our two hours here. But the rest of it is pretty much creating a “Kill. Me. Now.” situation over here on the Uninvolved Mommy benches. And that’s just unnecessary.
Disclaimer: I am an elementary music teacher. I’m not going to pretend that 12 years of this (awesome) job automatically makes me an expert in children’s music. Parenthood will do that for you just fine, anyway. It does, however, make me opinionated about the subject. There is experience, research, and Master classes talking here. And they’re opinionated too.#sorrynotsorry
Parents, teachers, child-centered businesses, I beseech you: Play actual music for your children. Please.
Kidz Bop is only good for elementary school pep rallies when you want to seem cool enough to play music the kids will recognize, but not lose your job from parental complaints. There’s nothing wrong with pop – I love it. But I think it’s better to play the actual artist whenever you can. If you can’t, there’s a good chance the song isn’t a fabulous pick for kids anyway, even edited with words that rhyme with the objectionable stuff and vocals by (what sounds like) freaky castrati.
Laurie Berkner does some nice stuff; a few covers of folk songs and mostly songs about kid stuff. I like her acoustic approach and she’s a decent vocal model for children (they can match her voice and sing along). But it all sounds pretty much the same and I can’t take more than 15 minutes without wanting to go all Pete Townsend on her guitar.
And screw the Wiggles. Just screw ’em. I’ve been here for an hour and if one of those mates showed up to give a free concert it would take all my self control not to kick him Down Under.
Please: Play decent recordings of folks songs. Put on “classical” (instrumental) music. There is a ton out there (See below) that is lively and engaging, the perfect sound track to imaginative play. Mix that up with pop songs that *gasp* YOU like, as long as you think they’re ok for your kids to hear.
Here’s a great CD set for this instrumental music that’s got some oomph:
“Music for Creative Movement“, GIA public (click the title to find the CD on sale).
Play music that was written for the sake of Music, not to give children something kiddie friendly to listen to. There is already so much music out there for them.
That said, I’m sure there’s some newer ones out there, but here are my favorite “children’s” albums with as little ear bleeding as possible:
“Here Come the ABCs” by They Might Be Giants
Any of Sandra Boynton’s full book albums
“Snack Time” by the Barenaked Ladies
I realize this list is pretty dated. My kids are 8 and 5, and their mommy has Spotify. (We don’t buy full kids albums anymore.)
KidzBop is the worst! If you want your kids to listen to ‘appropriate’ music, there’s plenty out there – find it! (Side note: We started listening to country music sometime in 1989 because pop music was getting too dirty and country music was much more wholesome and family friendly. Can you imagine??) Have you ever heard Tom Chapin? He was our favorite (maybe only)kids musician we listened to when our kids were growing up. He was one of these guys that seemed to make kids music because he liked to, not because he was trying to prove something or water down ‘adult’ music for kids. (Anyway, 2 cents from someone who does the USA Today crossword puzzle everyday and responds to each music clue by saying, “Bob and Meg would know this.”)